Bridge Quips

Gary — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 01:53:02 +0000

By Anonymous

If you must go down, please get on with it.
Two-way finesse rule one: procrastinate.
Count your winners and count your losers. If they add up to 14, count your cards.
The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the bonus points.
When in deep trouble, take a deep finesse.
Misplay early, that way, you have more time to catch up.
If you haven’t found the best line of play by trick 10, try divine guidance.
To finesse is human, to win is – divine.
If your doubles are all successful, you are not doubling enough or your tables are too close together in a duplicate game.
The hallmark of an expert is to be wrong for the most sophisticated of reasons.
If I ever marry a bridge player, it will be on impulse, as a man shoots himself.
Assumption’s the mother of all blown contracts.
It’s not the skill that drops off with age, it’s the drive, the killer instinct and when a man isn’t primed to kill he makes mistakes.
Bridge is a great comfort in your old age. It also helps you get there faster.
South: Alert! East: Yes? South: I’m requested to further misdescribe my hand.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
We had a partnership misunderstanding. My partner assumed I knew what I was doing.
My partner is 20 years behind the times. Nowadays you pay your money to bid. My partner still thinks you need cards.
Your play was much better tonight, and so were your excuses.
We play forcing hesitations.
I’d like a review of the bidding with all the original inflections.

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