Baker90278

Perks of reaching 50. If you’re not there yet, you have these to look forward to:

• Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
• No one expects you to run…anywhere.
• People call at 9 pm and ask, “Did I wake you?”
• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
• There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
• Things you buy now won’t wear out.
• You can eat supper at 4 p.m. and then again at 9 p.m.
• You can live without sex, but not your glasses.
• You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
• You sing along with elevator music.
• Your  eyes won’t get much worse.
• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
• Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
• Your  supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
• You can’t remember where you first saw this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

By Anonymous

• If you must go down, please get on with it.
• Two-way finesse rule one: procrastinate.
• Count your winners and count your losers. If they add up to 14, count your cards.
• The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the bonus points.
• When in deep trouble, take a deep finesse.
• Misplay early, that way, you have more time to catch up.
• If you haven’t found the best line of play by trick 10, try divine guidance.
• To finesse is human, to win is – divine.
• If your doubles are all successful, you are not doubling enough or your tables are too close together in a duplicate game.
• The hallmark of an expert is to be wrong for the most sophisticated of reasons.
• If I ever marry a bridge player, it will be on impulse, as a man shoots himself.
• Assumption’s the mother of all blown contracts.
• It’s not the skill that drops off with age, it’s the drive, the killer instinct and when a man isn’t primed to kill he makes mistakes.
• Bridge is a great comfort in your old age. It also helps you get there faster.
• South: Alert! East: Yes? South: I’m requested to further misdescribe my hand.
• The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
• We had a partnership misunderstanding. My partner assumed I knew what I was doing.
• My partner is 20 years behind the times. Nowadays you pay your money to bid. My partner still thinks you need cards.
• Your play was much better tonight, and so were your excuses.
• We play forcing hesitations.
• I’d like a review of the bidding with all the original inflections.

First California Financial Group, Inc. (NASDAQ: FCAL), parent company of First California Bank, today announced that First California Bank assumed the insured deposits of 1st Centennial Bank, the wholly-owned subsidiary of 1st Centennial Bancorp (OTCBB: FCEN), effective at the close of business today, from the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (”FDIC”) acting in its capacity as receiver of 1st Centennial Bank.

To protect depositors of 1st Centennial Bank, the FDIC entered into a purchase and assumption agreement under which First California Bank assumed all insured deposits of 1st Centennial Bank. Branches previously operated by 1st Centennial will reopen Monday morning, January 26, as part of the First California Bank franchise. 1st Centennial’s depositors will automatically become depositors of First California Bank.

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National Geographic’s Holiday 2008 Catalog will help you catch Gary Baker coming and going. It’s a radio controlled tarantula that crawls with real spider-like movement. Its furry texture makes it seem like the McCoy. Use the unique spider-egg remote control to send the arachnid scurrying across any smooth, flat surface. Go ahead, scare the pants off of Gary.

NatGeo Doubles Bet

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Have you been wondering about a gift for Gary Baker this Christmas? Here is a selection that will get and keep his attention.

A gift for Gary

This is from their catalog, and I must tell you that I found something I would like on every page. To see more visit Hammacher Schlemmer at http://hammacher.com/.

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No, that is not a misspelling in the headline. Sure, it would have been clearer if I had said Dancing Pols, but then the fun quotient would have been diminished. The photo needs no preamble.

Pol Dancing - Sarah and Barry cut a rug